Photo by Midwestnerd
On Jan 2nd I took Ginger Calem’s Writer’s Butt Class. I love Ginger, and her advice is simple, not time consuming, and totally makes sense.
So as I embark on my new healthy supportive routines, the Universe has to fuck with me by throwing things in my life that would normally derail me and turn new routines into failed routines.
First five days into class, I start my period. Sure it was going to happen eventually, but this wasn’t a normal period, oh no this was a Psycho PMS Cramps From Hell I Never Want To Leave My Bed Again period. I whined, but I did it. I mean sure I did the easiest version that was approved of, but still every day I stuck to my new healthier routine.
A few days later, everything just sucks and I begin to sink into depression. My normal procedures: get books, buy fried food covered in cheese and chocolate, and avoid all unnecessary human contact were not an option. Instead, like Hercules, I kept going. I eat healthy foods, I did my workouts, and while my emotions were a hot mess, my body didn’t follow, which was really weird and kind of split personality feeling.
I’m going along, la la la la, finishing my third week of a new healthy routine, feeling good, writing more, more energy, more focus and BAM! I am getting sick. The back of my throat is sore, my body aches, my head feels thick. BUT this morning I did my mini workout. I picked the easiest one from the choices Ginger gave us. My muscles ached and my breathing sounded like I was back to day one, but I did it. I won’t say I feel great, and I’m going to look up the workouts she gave us for when we feel bad. I do feel pleased, however, knowing I took another step towards the healthy, strong, vibrant life I want.
Things seem to be going well. I’m taking care of myself, not doing my new routines 100% BUT I’m also not falling back into old patterns. I’m calling it a win. Then the forces of evil combine to make a HYDRA! My little cold sinks into my chest, and now I have a cough, fever, body, and ache. I can’t sleep. Next I start my period: cramps, mood swings, add in a little more not sleeping. And another head of the hydra? Well apparently when you stop medicating with food, you have to feel all the shit you’ve been hiding from: depression, anger, feeling alone and a touch of self-loathing.
So now I am battling a monster. Normally just one of these would ruin my new healthier lifestyle, but not this time. Sure, I might not do everything, but I will do most of it. And better yet I won’t fall back into old patterns. I am determined. I want to healthier life. I want a healthier me. And when I’m not sick I loved how I felt doing Writer’s Butt.