My Daughter Making Hardened Criminals Cry Since 2014

My Daughter Making Hardened Criminals Cry Since 2014
Tala, three hair colors ago :)

Tala, three hair colors ago :)

Tala was walking home from school. Minding her own business. Okay, she was scoping out what everyone else was doing, giving nods to people she knows, winking at hot people, and listening to her music.
A group of men from the prison were cleaning up debris. Orange jumpsuits, prison tats, and guards with guns—the works. So Tala walks by, and the men catcall her.
Tala turns, pulling out her headphones and yells, “Hey I’m only fourteen years old, assholes!”
Several of these men start apologizing and one man started to cry.
Tala rolled her eyes and walked the rest of the way home, her badassness still undefeated.

Closet Monster

Closet Monster
Photo by John Lee Maverick

Photo by John Lee Maverick

Last night I’m not feeling well, and climb into bed as early as possible. Which means EVERYONE had to talk to me or text me or email me from 8 to 930.
Then I turn on the humidifier and cough, and almost fall asleep, and cough, and almost fall asleep, and cough, and almost fall asleep, until FINALLY I fall asleep.
At 12:30am something crashes. A box top fell off the top of my closet shelf. I can see it lying on the floor. OMG, there are rats or ghosts or a monster in my closet! Now a sane person would go back to sleep, and never have thought of any of those options. But I am not a sane person, so I turn on the light and carefully peek into the closet.
The logical explanation is that the humidity changed something science-y and the box top, which was lying on top of an over-filled box merely fell off. But logic has no place in my brain at 12:30. Obviously I have an invisible closet monster.
I lie back down and close my eyes. Then open them to check and see if a hand is reaching for my face. My eyes flutter close, open to check, flutter close and open to check, flutter close and open to check, does this count as exercise?? Finally I fall back to sleep.
At 5:15am the steam from the humidifier has upset the smoke detector and it goes off. Grateful the closet monster didn’t eat me while I slept, I go ahead and get up, because really, sleeping is out of the question now.

Do Not Mock Me

Do Not Mock Me
Photo by Lindy

Photo by Lindy

Hubby points at the bathroom counter.
Me: Don’t mess with my bottles.
Hubby: What they hell is all this crap?
Me: This is my new beauty regime.
Hubby: Eyebrow
Me: It works and reduces wrinkles and makes my skin healthier and smoother.
Hubby: This is all crap. Your skin doesn’t absorb things; it is designed to keep things from getting into your body.
Me-: You know what? just hush. I’m going out tonight, and when I get to the club, I’m going to get carded. And not because my friends are holding up a sign saying, “Please Card Her.” And not because the bouncer is nice and likes to make chubby, middle-aged women feel good about themselves. I’m going to get carded because my new diet and exercise routine and my beauty regime has taken twenty years off me.
Hubby: You started putting this crap on your face four days ago, and started working out three weeks ago.
Me: So?
Hubby: You live in a special world.
Me: Reality has no place here.

Like The Three Trials of Hercules Only Harder

Like The Three Trials of Hercules Only Harder
Photo by Midwestnerd

Photo by Midwestnerd

On Jan 2nd I took Ginger Calem’s Writer’s Butt Class. I love Ginger, and her advice is simple, not time consuming, and totally makes sense.
So as I embark on my new healthy supportive routines, the Universe has to fuck with me by throwing things in my life that would normally derail me and turn new routines into failed routines.
First five days into class, I start my period. Sure it was going to happen eventually, but this wasn’t a normal period, oh no this was a Psycho PMS Cramps From Hell I Never Want To Leave My Bed Again period. I whined, but I did it. I mean sure I did the easiest version that was approved of, but still every day I stuck to my new healthier routine.
A few days later, everything just sucks and I begin to sink into depression. My normal procedures: get books, buy fried food covered in cheese and chocolate, and avoid all unnecessary human contact were not an option. Instead, like Hercules, I kept going. I eat healthy foods, I did my workouts, and while my emotions were a hot mess, my body didn’t follow, which was really weird and kind of split personality feeling.
I’m going along, la la la la, finishing my third week of a new healthy routine, feeling good, writing more, more energy, more focus and BAM! I am getting sick. The back of my throat is sore, my body aches, my head feels thick. BUT this morning I did my mini workout. I picked the easiest one from the choices Ginger gave us. My muscles ached and my breathing sounded like I was back to day one, but I did it. I won’t say I feel great, and I’m going to look up the workouts she gave us for when we feel bad. I do feel pleased, however, knowing I took another step towards the healthy, strong, vibrant life I want.
Things seem to be going well. I’m taking care of myself, not doing my new routines 100% BUT I’m also not falling back into old patterns. I’m calling it a win. Then the forces of evil combine to make a HYDRA! My little cold sinks into my chest, and now I have a cough, fever, body, and ache. I can’t sleep. Next I start my period: cramps, mood swings, add in a little more not sleeping. And another head of the hydra? Well apparently when you stop medicating with food, you have to feel all the shit you’ve been hiding from: depression, anger, feeling alone and a touch of self-loathing.
So now I am battling a monster. Normally just one of these would ruin my new healthier lifestyle, but not this time. Sure, I might not do everything, but I will do most of it. And better yet I won’t fall back into old patterns. I am determined. I want to healthier life. I want a healthier me. And when I’m not sick I loved how I felt doing Writer’s Butt.

Phoenix Child is Reborn!!!!

Phoenix Child is Reborn!!!!
My new beautiful cover!

My new beautiful cover!

Two years ago I pulled Phoenix Child from Amazon and Smashwords to make a few adjustments and do another round of editing. It was only going to be down for a month or two. Cue hysterical laughter from every trickster / chaos god and goddess in every religion in the Universe to mess with me.
Okay, so it wasn’t THAT bad but I had learned a lot since I’d put Phoenix Child up and decided to plot out my series a bit. Pantsing a series that builds off the previous book isn’t the best idea ever :)
Anyway after a ton of work and four people critiquing and editing for me, Phoenix Child: Book One in the Children of Fire Series is back!!!
If you have already bought it, you should be able to update with the new edits for free. Assuming, of course, that I did everything correctly. Yes, yes, it’s a BIG assumption.
If you haven’t gotten it yet, now is your chance!

Smashwords

Amazon
HUGE thanks to everyone’s support!
And please, if you do read it, take a moment to review, cause you know I’m a validation whore :)

 

 

Sexy On The Inside

Sexy On The Inside

 

Today has been a day of constant booty wiggles and jumps. Not in a sexy way, but because my pants keep falling down. I need a friggin’ belt. But what would help until then is not wearing the sexy underwear with these pants!
The jeans don’t fit perfectly, and they slide down my black satin panties as I move around. So there I am grabbing belt loops and heaving jeans up my ass and doing the little wiggle to get them up all the way. Which is so not sexy, but neither is flashing panties in the grocery store.
If I wore cotton panties this wouldn’t be a problem, but the ones on top were the black satin and of course I’d forgotten about them being an issue when I got dressed this morning.
Wiggle, jump, wiggle, jump and a hot guy walks by. I try and ignore it. I try to pretend like I don’t care, but seriously its embarrassing. And what am I supposed to do say, “Hey, I know I look like a dork right now, but underneath it’s super sexy”?

Creepy Ass Books for CHILDREN!!!!!!

Creepy Ass Books for CHILDREN!!!!!!

5
I love books, and I want to share that love of books with the kids that come to live with me in foster care. At night, once they are tucked into bed, I sit in the hallway and read to them. I like to choose children’s classic because I feel it’s unlikely they’ll hear them any other way.
I’ve read Beatrix Potter and Winnie the Pooh. Both have a lovely cadence to them, and the authors use the word ‘presently’ a lot. I ADORE the word ‘presently.’ I have no idea why.
So next I try Peter Pan. I was super excited to find Peter in Kensington Garden and Peter and Wendy free on Amazon. Yeah, except not. These are creepy ass books, with bullying, Peter threatening to hurt or kill other children, and fairies coming back from an orgy! AN ORGY!!!!!
WTH!?!?

6
I mean, sure I change the racial slurs, which I expect from books of that time period. I do leave in gay and queer because they mean happy and odd, but racial slurs and orgy, yeah not so much. I stopped reading it.
So then I try Alice in Wonderland. Was Lewis Carrol on opium? Or did he have some kind of brain damage? So creepy, I almost stopped reading it, but that one I did finish.
Currently I’m reading The Wizard of Oz, which is so much more violent than the movie! The Tin Woodman cuts off a cat’s head because he feels bad for the mouse it’s chasing. Um, okay, that’s a bit extra special, especially when the cat’s heads rolls across the ground.
OMG, just read the part where they kill 120 creatures the Wicked Witch sends at them!
Also in the book the Wizard wants Dorothy to KILL the Witch of the West. In the movie she just has to get the witches broom, but in the book the all-powerful wizard tells a little girl (in the movie she’s older) to murder a person—yes she’s a wicked witch but still—and then he will send her home.
What the hell was wrong with these authors??? Were these not supposed to be children’s stories? I am afraid to try any other supposed “children’s classics’.

Do you change words when you read older books out loud? Have any children’s books scarred you for life?

Now And Forever

Now And Forever

4

For my second Romance movie I choose Now And Forever,
This Korean love story is sweet. It’s got the womanizing Min-su who is turned down by the lovely Hye-won, so he must pursue her. While spending much time with her, he starts to fall in love. Min-su isn’t very likable in the beginning. While he does have a growth arc, he is still kind of a childish pain in the butt at the end. But he grew on me.
Hye-won was fun and snarky and kept giving Min-su shit, which I liked. She doesn’t trust him at first and the hoops he has to jump through to win her were very clever, hee hee.
I really loved their best friends. They meet and fall for each other (two romances for the price of one). They are quirky and cute, and he is so awkward that I just want to hug him.
The ending killed me. It gets a tissue warning. I wasn’t expecting to cry that much, which is kind of stupid because I cry easily. But yeah, the movie was good—not amazing—then the end rips out our heart.

 

 

Only Lovers Left Alive

Only Lovers Left Alive

1For February I’m going to review love stories, cause you know the whole Valentines Day deal :) Hopefully you’ll find something new and fun to watch.

My first movie is Only Lovers Left Alive.
I love vampire movies, and I couldn’t pass up the one with Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton. I really liked this movie. I felt Adam (Tom Hiddleston) and Eve (Tilda Swinton) were the perfect vampires. Removed from the world by time and experience, they still wrapped up in it. Adam, hating the changes, depressed by human stupidity, wallows in his own self-absorbed despondency and fear. Eve, loving and living, finds the joy and beauty in the world even after all these centuries.
It is a visually stunning movie (and not just because Adam rarely wears a shirt). It’s beautifully filmed. This is, god I don’t know what to call it, it’s a section of their lives, a glimpse into their world.

While the movie ends, the story doesn’t. This is a slow story of a small part of what it might be like to live and love for eternity.
And while, yes they are vampires, they are so much more. Not a lot of blood, and what is shown is all bottled up. Not for kids, too slow, and there is nudity but no sex.

Tea for People with ADD

Tea for People with ADD
Photo by Sam Howzit

Photo by Sam Howzit

I just bought my first boba tea today, also called bubble tea. This is the tea people with ADD should be drinking. First there were a ton of flavor choices. Then you pick between traditional tapioca pearls or bursting pearls which have juice inside them. I chose bursting pearls. Then I had to pick a flavor, so I chose pomegranate to go the hibiscus tea.
Sip tea, squish pearls, giggle at burst of sweet juice, repeat.
The regular pearls are chewy so with each sip have something to do beside drinking. They did have red beans and several types of jelly to add to the drinks, which I’ll have to check out next time I go :)
Have you tried boba tea, and do you like it? If not, why not?

Photo by Lily of Bursting Boba!

Photo by Lily of Bursting Boba!