The Panic Before the Holidays

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Caramels waiting to be wrapped.

Caramels waiting to be wrapped.


So after being sick for two weeks, I have a huge list of things I need to get done before the holidays:

shopping for presents, stocking stuffers, and food

wrapping all the things

packaging and mailing boxes

sending cards with a letter and photos of the kids

And I have to make four batches of caramels!

So I did what any reasonable person would do. I wrote down all the little steps so I can see my accomplishments, and I bought four books and read them back to back. Then I decided I’d read them too quickly, so now I’m re-reading them.

How do you deal with holiday stress? Is everything on your list done?

Purveyor Of Wizened Wisdom

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I think I need a wizards hat and maybe a crystal ball.  Hat created by secretlondon

I think I need a wizards hat and maybe a crystal ball.
Hat created by secretlondon

So there I am lying in bed my body racked with fever and doused with Nyquil (okay Walgreen store brand Nyquil) when my dear daughter walks in and begins to complain about … well… pretty much everything.

As she complained I felt a deep connection to something grater. I became a conduit for Wizened Wisdom.

DD: Mom I don’t want to go to martial arts tomorrow morning. Logan said he was working so I was expecting to stay home and really I just don’t feel like going.

Me: She who pokes tigers with sticks must learn to fight the beast.

DD: What the hell was that? Was that an answer? DAD! something is wrong with mom!

Me: I am a purveyor of Wizened Wisdom; you should feel blessed to be in my presence.

DD: (snorts) Whatever. Hey mom I think it’s stupid to go to school on Monday. We have Tuesday off and no one is even going to go to school. It’ll just be me and I’ll be bored and lonely and we won’t even learn anything important.

Me: It is only through adversity that a blade becomes sharp and strong, my little warrior princess.

DD: OMG I can’t even talk to you! DAD! get control of your wife.

DH: You can go clean up now.

DD has let her mom’s friend paint her face for Day of the Dead. It looks amazing but needs to be washed off. I doze off then wake and hear the water running. It sounds like it’s just the sink.

Me: Is Tala washing her face in the sink?

DH: No she’s taking a shower.

Me: Oh, good, because one should not use a brook when the power of a waterfall is needed.

DH: For the love of all that is holy, stop talking and go to sleep.

Me: It is only in silence the truth can be heard.

DH: What does that even mean??

My family didn’t really appreciate my Wizened Wisdom, but I think it’s because they were overwhelmed by the power of my words.

Pouting and Holiday Music

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So I am sick, like bad chest cold, body ache, tired all the time sick. The same thing happened last year at this time. I’m thinking of giving up on Christmas there is just too much to do. Not sure what I should go with instead, any ideas??

Anywho, here is some more holiday music. One of my favorites :)

Okay now you can start celebrating winter holidays

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It is Dec 1st so now I am willing to listen to Holiday music, start putting up decorations, plotting our Solstice meal, and start making caramels. So many caramels *whimpers*

So here is one of my favorite funny holiday songs for your enjoyment.

International dance moves

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So I found this

Which is awesome and I shall diligently practice in case I ever get to travel to Canada. Then I wondered if there were more.

I found Korean, ’cause Kpop is king.

I like tutorial on how to dance in club because she takes into account that my awesomeness could be intimidating.

Now imagine for a second that someone is willing to dance with me … it could happen! I shall have to memorize these righteous moves.

And of course I want to help the guys, but honestly I leaned a lot of club culture/body language from this video. Apparently I should be ‘testing guys’ as they approach me at the club. You know, if I was ever approached, or could stay up late enough to go to a club.

Do you have any sure-fire dance moves we all should learn??

What was your excuse?

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So you can’t do it why? Cause you’re not strong enough, fit enough, thin enough? What exactly are you letting hold you back, cause after watching these I’d challenge your excuses. If you want it you can make it happen. I believe in you! Now I just need to believe in me. :)

She’s smooth as Chunky Peanut Butter

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My daughter is smooth.

My daughter is smooth.

So last night I am sitting on my couch talking to my DD when she puts her hand over my eyes. “Shush” she says as I hear the rustling of the money on the table.

She removes her hand and had stuffed the bills in her bra. Grinning she says, “I’m smooth as chunky peanut butter. Oops missed one.”

She grabs the last dollar and stands up grinning at me whispers, “Smooth.”

She walks to the door, goes all ‘Aunt Brandy’ (flips me off playfully—it’s a thing at my house) then runs off cackling.

Why do I keep these people around?