Photographer AndrewEick

We wallow in creative angst desperate to reconnect to the creative flow of the universe, that magical life-affirming energy which is our crack. With a soul-weary sigh, we fondle the keys on our laptop and try to stifle the tears of loss as our inspired genius remains silent and elusive.

And that, boys and girls, is what writer’s block looks like to a writer. And it is very difficult, and a total crock, but still challenging for a writer to work through.

I, however, do not suffer from existential, soul draining writers block. I suffer from pouter’s block: yes it’s a real thing!

You see I have difficulty blending reality and fantasy. Shocking, I know. I did my research and I fully understood that as a new indie author the average number of books I was going to sell would be around 80. I knew in the small logical portion of my brain that I would need to have several books for sale, and continue to build my brand/platform/presence. I was aware this would take time and work.

However, in the interest of “knowing my goals,” “creative visualization,” and The Secret, I was already thinking about what I would wear on my interview with Oprah, plotting the terms I would need to have in my movie contract, and worrying if I could be clever enough to be on Rove. He’s so sharp!

My husband in his wisdom said, “Don’t worry; once you have about twenty books for sale, then you’ll be bringing in a good income.”

20!!!! Does he know how much time a book takes to write, edit, and publish? OMG! That’s forever! I’ll be dead before I reach 20 books!

And so, even though I know I would continue to do what I love even if I didn’t get paid, because writing is my passion, my art, and the only way to quiet the voices in my head, the hope/dream/expectation of more makes me long for what I don’t have instead of enjoying where I’m at.

So for now, I will tuck away my Oprah outfit and enjoy this time to do some more crunches, I’ve heard the camera adds 10 lbs! I will refine my “deal breakers for a movie contract, and I will watch more Rove and read lots of witty stuff so I can be a fabulous guest and will be asked back.

How do you balance your hopes and dreams with reality? Are you able to see this as a step towards your goals or are you curled in a ball eating Ho-Ho’s and Cheetos?