I am finally back after feeling like crap and having zero energy. I blamed myself, and my self-talk was debilitating.
I am lazy.
I am fat.
I am useless.
I am a failure.
No one else is this pathetic.
I am so weak.
I have no self-discipline.
I will never be a good __________ ( mother, partner, friend, author)
Then I almost feel asleep while driving, so I went to my doctor (shocking they can help). After blood work, tests, and a sleep study, not only was my thyroid medication not helping but I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. I would stop breathing an average of 95 times an hour and my blood oxygen level was going down to 73%!
It took weeks before I could get a CPAP machine, but now I can sleep and breathe at the same time. It’s amazing! I feel so much better, and I am slowly increasing my activity. I will need to go back for more bloodwork to check my thyroid, but I wonder why I waited so long to go to my doctor and get help?
And the truth is assumptions about myself.
I assumed I was lazy.
I assumed I was old.
I assumed I was depressed (which is true) and the meds improved my emotional state but not my energy.
I assumed I needed time to rest and recover from a stressful life situation.
I assumed I was a loser.
I assumed I was a failure.
I assumed I was lacking as a functional human being.
The truth is I was and am sick. I have chronic illnesses—hypothyroidism, sleep apnea, and I easily become anemic. All which steal my energy, my emotional stability, and my brain function. I am LUCKY. So, so lucky, as my conditions can be managed.
What to take from this—ask yourself are you sick and tired or tired because you are sick? See your doctor, get a full blood workup. If they blow you off, get a new doctor or pay a lab to do the blood work for you. Don’t dismiss your symptoms as age, weight, or a personality deficiency. You don’t have to be the media ideal of “perfect” in order to be worthy of self-care and good health.
2018 is all about self-care for me, and I hope self-care will be important to you too.
Love yourself and give yourself the best. YOU ARE WORTHY RIGHT NOW.