I am finally back after feeling like crap and having zero energy. I blamed myself, and my self-talk was debilitating.
I am lazy.
I am fat.
I am useless.
I am a failure.
No one else is this pathetic.
I am so weak.
I have no self-discipline.
I will never be a good __________ ( mother, partner, friend, author)
Then I almost feel asleep while driving, so I went to my doctor (shocking they can help). After blood work, tests, and a sleep study, not only was my thyroid medication not helping but I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. I would stop breathing an average of 95 times an hour and my blood oxygen level was going down to 73%!
It took weeks before I could get a CPAP machine, but now I can sleep and breathe at the same time. It’s amazing! I feel so much better, and I am slowly increasing my activity. I will need to go back for more bloodwork to check my thyroid, but I wonder why I waited so long to go to my doctor and get help?
And the truth is assumptions about myself.
I assumed I was lazy.
I assumed I was old.
I assumed I was depressed (which is true) and the meds improved my emotional state but not my energy.
I assumed I needed time to rest and recover from a stressful life situation.
I assumed I was a loser.
I assumed I was a failure.
I assumed I was lacking as a functional human being.
The truth is I was and am sick. I have chronic illnesses—hypothyroidism, sleep apnea, and I easily become anemic. All which steal my energy, my emotional stability, and my brain function. I am LUCKY. So, so lucky, as my conditions can be managed.
What to take from this—ask yourself are you sick and tired or tired because you are sick? See your doctor, get a full blood workup. If they blow you off, get a new doctor or pay a lab to do the blood work for you. Don’t dismiss your symptoms as age, weight, or a personality deficiency. You don’t have to be the media ideal of “perfect” in order to be worthy of self-care and good health.
2018 is all about self-care for me, and I hope self-care will be important to you too.
Love yourself and give yourself the best. YOU ARE WORTHY RIGHT NOW.
Great writing with a good message Alica. Self-care and intuition!
Thank you! It’s my focus for this year 🙂
Alica
So glad that you got some help and that they found treatable conditions! This really resonated with me, as I have grappled with chronic pain for years, and I wrote it off to bad luck and bad genetics – that was just the way I was. It was a revelation to realize that the pain was a sign of something that could actually be changed. Full recovery will take a lot of time, but even small improvements are motivating to carry on.
I am so glad you’re getting help! It amazes me how much we will ignore and make excuses for our own health. It is amazing how good I already feel, but the process is slower than I was hoping for because I am impatient.
Alica
So glad you got the help you needed. Good luck with maintenance, and welcome back to your life!
Thank you!
Alica
Good thing you went to the doctor. I’m constantly fighting chronic fatigue. I should probably check into a sleep study to see about sleep apnea. Hope you get the thyroid issue worked out and you start feeling 100%. I’ve heard some people with sleep apnea say the C-Pap machine made a huge difference in their lives. Good for you taking care of yourself and finding answers!
It took almost falling asleep while driving to get me to the doctor, but I am glad I finally did. I would recommend a sleep study because if you can get better sleep it will help a lot.
Alica
Alicia0mSo glad you are doing all thus. It took me a while to realize that. Along with a cross country move.
If you have any questions on Throid, IAsk away and if I can help you I will. I’, pretty sure you probably have it well in hand.
I tthink I told you, I developed Hashimotoes Thyroiditis at the age of 9 and have nee on hormone replaceent ever since.
My doctor i really good. I can call her if I think my thyrod levels need to be checked and she’ll write the order for me.