Alica McKenna-Johnson,  Vegetarian meat

Photo by Trevor Owens

For some reason there are meat eaters who get upset when vegetarians eat fake meat. “Why don’t you just eat the real thing?” they demand.

And it got me wondering—if these same people saw a lesbian buying a dildo would they ask her why doesn’t she just go have sex with a man?

And that lead me to thinking about all the ways fake meat and dildos are alike.

1) Not having to deal with what’s attached to the real thing. A being for food or a being for fun you should consider them to some degree. They are a part of the equation, and sometimes you don’t want to have to deal with the emotions/karma/energy involved in other beings, you just want to your desires fulfilled.

2) The mess. So beings have fluids, and those can be messy and dangerous. Using the proper protection and cleaning efficiently is a necessity, and can be a fun part of the process, but you don’t always want to deal with it.

3) Sometimes it’s about quick, focused satisfaction. Yes, I could spend time prepping beans, tofu and veggies or getting dressed up and going out and meeting someone. But what if I just want something quick. What if I just want a hit of something quick, thick, and fulfilling without the hours of prep?

4) Because sometimes you simply want a sausage without any fuss, drama, karma, or interaction with others.

Photo by Chanel Beck

Photo by Chanel Beck

Can you think of any other ways fake meat is like a dildo???