15 Comments

  1. Middlemay Farm
    August 18, 2014 @ 6:36 am

    I love fiery posts. Hmm. If we’re talking about Judea-Christian values then men are equally on the hook for the sex-before-marriage sin thing. sadly our culture no longer values the type of man who had the strength of character and discipline to play within those rules (of course men and women have always broken rules but the rules were seen as a way of protecting children and society and for the majority of people it seemed to work). Studies show that those who wait for marriage have happier and more successful marriages. So many girls and women I know bought into the idea that free love was something like equality, but ended up feeling used.

    I think the woman in your discussion group was being silly, but the notion that most girls can emotionally handle the Sex in the City lifestyle is equally silly. I think boys still in the end don’t want to be with a slut. Double standard for sure–but then we as a society no longer want any standards. We coddle our boys and give them trophies for just getting up in the morning.We’re opposed to all judgment. I feel sorry for boys and girls because everything is taken so lightly that nothing is special to them.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      August 19, 2014 @ 11:32 am

      Glad you like fiery, I always worry a bit when I get on my soap box!

      I agree, we need to hold both our boys and girls up to the same standards and make them actually earn things in life, grades, medals, ribbons, etc. There is a great book called “How to Raise Self-Reliant Children in a Self Indulgent world” So glad I read it when my son was little so I could raise my kids to be an functional adult and not a whiny worthless punk.

      I wish people could be more honest about sex with each other, and their children. I would like for people to be able to be honest with their partners about their needs, no matter if they are having casual sex, in a monogamous relationship, or choosing to wait until marraige.

      Reply

      • Middlemay Farm
        August 19, 2014 @ 4:09 pm

        whiny worthless punk–lol. I’m all for talking about sex–the joys and pitfalls–with my kids. What I’m not fond of is having the culture educate my children–including schools. Until we live in a completely totalitarian state the kids are MINE! 🙂

        Reply

        • alicamckennajohnson
          August 21, 2014 @ 8:58 am

          I agree, I homeschooled my kids for years so I could brainwash them the way I wanted to LOL!

          Reply

  2. Kilian Metcalf
    August 18, 2014 @ 7:28 am

    If you’re a boy, you can have sex with anyone. If you’re a girl, you’re supposed to wait until you graduate from college and have a good job. I’m guessing there must be a cadre of girls somewhere who are servicing all the boys in a given area, since the ‘good’ girls don’t do it standard must be upheld. Too bad, because studies show that when both partners have some sexual experience and know what their needs are, marriages tend to be stronger. Finding out after you are married that you have a strong sex drive, and your partner thinks sex more than twice a month is perverted is a recipe for trouble. In civilized countries, the parents work things out and marry off the kids to compatible partners very early in life. Since the kids aren’t working out some fantasy about true love that lasts forever with the one person who is going to meet all their needs for the rest of their lives, they go into relationships with low expectations. Seems to work for them.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      August 19, 2014 @ 11:37 am

      I just wish we would all be more honest about sex when in relationships, or one night stands, or talking to our kids. We all have sexual drives and there are consequences to having sex, communication is the key IMHO

      Reply

  3. literaryliason
    August 18, 2014 @ 8:03 am

    I’m a firm believer in wait until graduation (high school). After that, to each their own. However, children need to be educated, because they may not wait. “Don’t” is not practical or realistic advice. The important thing is to focus on education, (whether a boy or girl). The longer you wait (hopefully) the more mature you will be and the less likely you will get pregnant, STD’s, or stuck in a bad relationship. Sex is a personal decision, often a stupid one, but it’s not for society to create one acceptable format for.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      August 19, 2014 @ 11:40 am

      My mom told me she hoped I would wait until I was 18 because she didn’t think anyone was ready for sex and the consequences, but she also wanted me to be safe and I was taught about sex safe I knew she would help me get birth control when I needed it. I have raised my kids the same 🙂

      Reply

  4. Kelsey Cowie
    August 18, 2014 @ 8:31 am

    You make a really great point. But not all Christians think that way, thank God, I being one of them..and the Bible does not say only girls have to save themselves for marriage its all people. It saddens me that a so called christian made such an ignorant and misleading statement. You made an excellent point and I think all parents need to read this.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      August 19, 2014 @ 11:44 am

      Thank you I’m glad it was helpful. I hate hypocrisy, if sex is sacred it should be sacred for men and women.

      Reply

  5. August McLaughlin
    August 18, 2014 @ 2:05 pm

    Agh! That woman’s statement. Sadly, it reflects some common, super harmful myths. Timely post, as I interviewed a woman on sex-positive parenting on my show today. 🙂 It’ll appear on my blog soon as well. Thanks for speaking up about it, Alica!

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      August 19, 2014 @ 11:50 am

      Can’t wait to read your newest blog post. And it happened to be a man, but still it ticked me off to think of men and women not being held to the same standard.

      Reply

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    October 2, 2014 @ 10:02 am

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