This Saturday I went to the Body Love Conference It was amazing, inspiring, and motivating! It also had moments of being really raw, honest, vulnerable, and revealing. I loved it, I didn’t want it to end, and I can’t wait for next year’s conference.Thank you to everyone who made i
Go check out the link—most of the amazing speakers (all volunteered their time to this conference) have websites and other social media connections.
What I learned:
In my first seminar I did letter writing with Kristen Nelson and looked at our first moment of body shame. For me it was when I was molested at five. This surprised me because I have always blown it off as not that big a deal. It was only one time, I wasn’t physically hurt, and the teenager created this illusion of my being in control of the situation. For me finding this root of body shame, finding the source and realizing how what happened to me and how it was handled later have affected how I look at myself and the world was a bit of an epiphany.
In the second seminar with the vibrant and regal Sonya Renee Taylor I was inspired to start a Radically Unapologetic Healing Challenge 4 Us (RUHCUS) This is a way to break free from what is holding you back, from your fears, and worries, and the yucky gunk that lives between your ears. You do one thing that scares you for thirty days, you have a ceremony, and then blog about your progress. I’m excited. I’m ready.
I have no idea what to do!
I’m scared of many things. I don’t trust myself to make good choices, or to keep myself safe (see above). I’m afraid of putting myself out to the world, especially with my writing. I’m afraid if everyone knew everything about me that they wouldn’t like me anymore. Which I’m sure a lot of people find shocking because I have no filter. Or it seems I don’t, but I do I keep things to myself, I downplay how important things are to me, I don’t offer my opinion on subjects because the other people have researched it more or because I know/think they will look down on me, and keep things hidden.
But part of me still screams to get out. I’m loud. I’ve toned down what I wear to fit in but still manage to have to show a part of who I am. I want to shine. I want to be who I really am, and not be scared to express myself. I’ll have to find the start of my RUHCUS in this.
After lunch, which I shared with some wonderful ladies, I went to a talk on Body Trust taught by Dana and Hilary they talked about learning and accepting your body. About proper nutrition for health from a weight-neutral perspective. They really spoke to where I want to be—focused on my health and strength but not my weight. Trusting enough to listen to my body for what it wants to eat, and when to eat, and when I am full. My ten years of dieting has brought me forty more pounds and vicious nasty self-talk reels that play in my head over and over again. I’m sick of this, and it isn’t healthy on any level.
I choose to end the conference with a bang, and went to a talk on Incredible Self Confidence with the World Famous “Bob” I felt energized just being in the room with her. I want to shine like she does, be that strong and honest and amazing! She gave us some great visual techniques for stopping our negative self-talk tapes. Do not water the negative plants! And I got to sit by Jade , who I modeled for last year. Her honesty and how she really looked at me when we partnered and talked about our dreams, made me feel seen in a way I haven’t in a long time. I have a new focus and a “courage challenge step” to take towards my dreams.
I feel so rejuvenated and connected to the amazing group of people who were at the conference. The only thing I want for next year is MORE. I want longer sessions and at least two days’ worth of amazing lectures, AND I want to be well rested enough and have time off, so I can go to the Saturday night burlesque show. 🙂