Logan

Logan

So I’ve been writing down the odd, creepy, and sometimes funny things my children have said. Please enjoy.

“I always try to have a magnesium block when running from bad guys.” –Logan

“Mom, that’s not how obsession works.” – Tala

“I want Dad to divorce you and become gay and marry Adam Lambert or Cheeks because that would be awesome.” – Tala

“Wait, you mean we have to kill everyone in the kitchen?”- Logan and his friend, age 4

“I’m watching you. My eyes are everywhere. The fish are my minions!”- Tala

Tala

Tala

“Americans are stupid and smell like grease.” – Tala (We are American’s BTW)

“If you find a body in the bathroom, it’s not mine.” –Tala

“I don’t mind the popularity, it’s the fans that get annoying.”- Logan

“I like to violate the law from the safety of my own home.”- Tala

“I want to become a cobbler. It is my life’s dream to become a cobbler. Okay, well, it’s not, but I still want to study to be a cobbler.” Logan

“Mom, guys who are into the things I’m into aren’t hot; they’re really not.” Tala

We’re looking at new cell phones, and, of course, Tala wants an iPhone, and I’m looking at the cheapest. “I feel like I’m in an arranged marriage.”- Tala

“I judge people on the bus, but I don’t look at them.” – Tala

Crazy zealot protesting gays outside a coffee shop see my daughter and her friend walking, and he says. “See: a good white American Christian couple.” And then my daughter said, “Thanks. I used to be a man.”

“Wait, you can get whatever you want carved on your tombstone? Then I want hot, shirtless, anime guys on mine.”- Tala

What is the craziest thing your kids have ever said?