1. Diana Beebe
    July 17, 2013 @ 9:20 am

    I’ve been there! I can absolutely relate to what you’re saying! Not all that long ago, I decided that I was tired of feeling bad. It was hard work, but I lost 70 pounds. It wasn’t about being a smaller size (that was the bonus) for me. It was about feeling healthy and strong and happy again. Since then, I’ve let myself gain about 20+ pounds back. I’m not happy about it. To me, it means I’ve reached a new threshold of saying that’s far enough. I’m working on shedding those pounds again. It is a self discovery process. And you are not alone. *HUGS*


  2. Jay Carter
    July 18, 2013 @ 4:37 am

    I have been trying to lose weight for years. All I’ve managed to do is get bigger. After years of soul searching, reading, listening to educated people, Oprah, Dr.Phil, ect. I have discovered I use my weight as a shield. Have you ever noticed how a big person can be totally over looked in a room?! I have. My “shield” stems from a lot of pain and a lot of hidden things in my life. I can’t confide in any of my family members, and don’t have a “best” friend anymore, like when I was a little kid. By staying fat, I’ve had a perfect “out” as to dating, sports, ect, ect, ect. Coupled with my home life (I care for my elderly Mother and 2 nephews), being financially strapped most of the time, being fat has let people “overlook” me. I can hide this way and don’t have to make excuses as to why I’m not dating a woman, or worried about having a sex life. You should hear the jokes about 2 fat people having sex!!!!!!! Well, I’m going to go out on a limb here and just type is out for the world, I’m 48 and gay, am basically a virgin, and will probably die as one. So yea, I have an unobtainable goal of being 150 lbs before I die, having skin surgery (loose 1/2 of yourself and you’ll need it too), learning to snow ski, and being able to take my shirt of at a pool or the beach without being embarrassed. Alicia, thanks for giving me the courage to put all this out there on the internet. Maybe in some way someone else will have a better life because of this??? I can only hope. I wouldn’t want anyone to end up like me.


    • Jolyse Barnett
      July 24, 2013 @ 1:29 pm

      Dear Jay,

      I read your comment and can feel your pain and disappointment. You have a choice. Forty-eight isn’t old. (It better not be, I’m turning that age in a few weeks!) You can choose to stay as you are, hiding from the world, or you can take a risk. Make changes in your life that will improve your feelings of self-worth and health. You can do it. You already recognize the root cause of your difficulties. Now, all you have to do is act upon it. You have half your life left. I’d love to hear in a year from now that you chose to turn your life around, taking care of yourself, being the best you can be, and finding happiness. That doesn’t mean you have to desert those who need you, but it means to fit in time for yourself as well.

      Sending positive thoughts your way! 🙂


      • alicamckennajohnson
        July 27, 2013 @ 2:58 pm

        Encouraging words Jolyse thanks for sharing your energy and support.


    • alicamckennajohnson
      July 27, 2013 @ 2:51 pm

      *hugs* I am so sorry you feel so trapped right now, but each day has the possibility of hope and making new choices. Right now I am trying to do little things, and just a few little things to slowly build better habits. I hope you can find balance between all of your responsibilities and taking care of yourself, just remember that 48 isn’t the end of your life, just the middle. Each day I try and make sure that I do one little tiny thing to get me closer to my goals, even if it was not eating the last three bites of something because I was full. 🙂 Let me know how things go for you.


  3. Susan
    July 18, 2013 @ 10:32 am

    Alica, I have thought so often that if I could only inhabit my skinny body for just a few minutes, then I would feel like I could eat right/exercise/etc! Sometimes I try to make my goal more tangible–put up a picture of clothing from a magazine that I’d love to wear, post motivational quotes on the kitchen cabinets. Mostly that seems to result in embarrassment when guests wonder why there’s a picture of shorts taped to the flour bin. I have even taken old, skinny-size clothing out of its mothballs sometimes and hung it somewhere visible. But I am moving away from that now.

    Recently I read Re-Thinking Thin, by Gina Kolata. It’s good to get some perspective on just how difficult-to-impossible sustained weight loss is. Between that and reading some Health At Every Size type blogs, I am really working on turning my focus away from weight loss and toward eating healthy foods and getting stronger. I still weigh myself every morning, though, so it’s definitely a work in progress.


    • alicamckennajohnson
      July 27, 2013 @ 2:54 pm

      Good for you! Yes I’m trying to focus on health and strength but old habits are hard to break!


  4. heathermama
    July 22, 2013 @ 9:36 am

    i am not sure that feeling better is an intangible goal. i mean you have felt good in the past so you know what that feels like, so go with that. being “skinny” isn’t really a goal in my mind, being healthy/feeling better is a better goal in my opinion. because you may never be the size you were at 17, and do you even want that? i mean, maybe you do. that being said, if you truly want to be healthier, then you gotta power thru it and that is the hard part. because sitting on your butt and eating food that isn’t the best for you is super easy (i should know! LOL) making yourself care for yourself is hard ass work. when stress, life, worries, etc come sneaking in, it is easy to forget how important you are to you. ((hug))


    • alicamckennajohnson
      July 27, 2013 @ 2:56 pm

      Very true Heather I have to make myself do the hard work and get past the negative habits, hopefully one day soon.


  5. Jolyse Barnett
    July 24, 2013 @ 1:35 pm

    I focus on a non-tangible goal by breaking it down into tangible parts. I may not be sure what the end result will be, but I know I want to share my stories with the world. So, I learn the craft, network with other writers, learn the business, and write every day. I completed one book, then two, and now am working on three projects. I submit my work, I receive rejections, and eventually I will publish. Why? Because I believe in myself and I believe in my future success. I cannot control when it will happen, but I can control the quality work I submit.

    Good luck with the weight loss. Perhaps focus on changing one habit, such as not eating within two hours of bedtime or eating your first meal of the day within one hour of rising. Those types of habits affect your metabolism and can start you on your way to that elusive goal.


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