As an author you hear over and over You can’t critique your own work. And You can’t edit your own work. These are absolutely true, which is why I am thankful every day for my wondrous critique partners and editor.
The other day I was thinking (I know—scary) and I began to wonder if I am not a good judge of what is working and not working in my writing, can I be a good judge of what is working and not working in my life?
Should we ask people we trust to critique the way we live?
I can tell you everything I think is wrong with me and how I live, but would someone else feel the same way?
I know I judge myself much harsher than I judge my friends. But even still, I love my friends enough to want the best for them. If they were doing something which was making their life harder, hindering their happiness, or in conflict with their goals I would say so.
Maybe there needs to be a job of Professional Life Critique Expert. That person could look over your life, time, health, money, etc., and tell you where you need help, what you need to get rid of, what needs work, and of course what you are doing well.
Do you think you are a good judge of your own life?
That certainly would take the term “life coach” to a whole other level.
I know right!
Oh I think we lie to ourselves everyday. It is called justifacation and the best way to end a friendship is total honesty. hehe. A little truth with a lot of love would be good.
True truth that is balanced with love and compassion can be too much to take. Thanks Jolene
So many ideas to chew on in this post, Alicia. Thanks. The idea of a “professional life critique expert,” is an amusing one. I think of how easy it would be to find one: just walk into any Codependents Anonymous Meeting and there they sit, eager to be helpful. (I say that with much love for all the recovering codependents in my life today).
Becoming aware of what we need, want, yearn for, deserve … is so important. And how hard that is, often. I try to sit still at least once each day and listen to what bubbles up; even then, I must decide if what I’m hearing is my own voice or that of my long-gone grandmother continuing to give me unasked for advice. Which brings me to the other thought I had: how closely connected we seem to make caring and “advising.” I’ve come to believe that whenever I give unsolicited advice I am saying that “you won’t figure it out for yourself.” That helps to shut me up (usually). Does that make sense?
LOL- I think I’ll steer clear of those meetings it would be too tempting to let them take over 🙂 I love the idea of taking time each day and seeing what comes up and then deciding who is speaking. Thanks Janet
i think i am great at critiquing my own life… just not very good at implementing the things i know i need to change. LOL
Implementing is a huge challenge, but I know there are times when I am way to hard on myself and having someone else near by to help see things in a more balanced light would be great.
I agree with you. I critique myself a lot harder then I do the people I know, but I am also one of the worst people to implement the changes I need in place. I need to become more disciplined!
Yep I have the same problems Gilliad
I am allergic to other peoples’ opinions. I’m not a fan of criticism, but compliments creep me out completely. What I don’t get is why people come to me for opinions on everything. Sheesh.
LOL it’s difficult being so popular I’m sure 🙂