What do you get when you mix a full moon, a moon time (i.e. my period), a cold, and the stress of the holidays? You get the emotional instability I like to call, The Yo-Yo Ride from Hell.
I am doing my best to make sure the yo-yo comes back up. Which means eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercise. And when the yo-yo is up I remind myself to be inspired by people’s successes and to not compare my journey to theirs. To breathe and take everything one step at a time. To try to find solutions instead of wallowing in problems.
Unfortunately as we all know a yo-yo also go down. Down into the deep, dank, dark, despair of my despondent, desperate, desires.
Like many people money is a trigger for me, and also like many people I didn’t plan, save, or shop ahead, and the holiday’s loom before me. On the up swings I am planning caramels, small knitted projects, and thoughtful gifts I can afford for the few people I can get them for. And I know that those who love me understand. On the down swing I am a FAILURE. A miserable, pathetic failure who knows better dammit! And everyone is judging me!!!!
I have told many people that my favorite Christmas was the one I began shopping for in August because it was so relaxed. Have I ever done this again- NO of course not, that would be crazy to repeat something that had worked so well the first time.
So on my down-swings I am trying to breathe, watch happy things on youtube, sleep well, and remind myself that this is temporary, not only will the yo-yo go up but also, eventually I will be able to get off this ride. And on the flip side, being broke means I can pretend to be righteously shunning the shopping madness of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. We’ll ignore the fact that if I’d had money I would have shopped Cyber Monday. 🙂
So how are all of you doing this season? Are you stressing out or have you been saving and shopping early and get to glide through the holidays on fluffy pink clouds of happiness?
Hang in there. It will be January before you know it.
I think January is going to become my favorite month!
We get so hung up on money at this time of the year and forget the most important things: health and family. My motto (after hanging out with plenty of millionaires) is money doesn’t make you happy, it makes being unhappy awfully comfortable.
One Christmas before children, Captain Haddock and I had less than $20 in cash to do something for Christmas dinner. We bought Chinese takeaway and ate it looking over the near empty marina at Paulsbo, WA (everyone else had taken off, but we had no fuel money). CH hid my present on the boat and presented me with a riddle to find it. Our families were thousands of miles away, and we had none of the usual trappings, but this was my favourite American Christmas.
Hang in there… and hug someone next time you feel like beating yourself up.
Thanks Sarah- and you are so right, when I was younger and my income and expectations were lower I think I enjoyed the holiday’s more. I have a ton to be grateful for and a lot of reasons to be happy.Thanks for the reminder 🙂
As long as I get caramel, it’s all good.
Um, well, I was going to buy some Hanukkah candles, but then I found the stash I bought last year after the holiday was over. I’ll use them instead. There! holiday shopping all done!
It’s amazing how each year we feel like, “Christmas is here already??!” It’s on the same day every year! But I still feel caught off guard most years.
Hope you can ride high though this season. Keep making time for the things and people you enjoy.