I am by nature a brat. Through a healthy diet, proper sleep, exercise, and a strong routine, I can get a lot done. But if one of these is messed up, everything is in jeopardy.
I do my best to stick to my goals and routines, and settle back into who I want to be. However, there is a guaranteed self-destruct button labeled should.
If I can’t get myself back on track inevitably I was say to myself, “Hey, Alica, you should___________.” It doesn’t matter what is in that blank: take a shower, chop some veggies, eat fruit, write a bit more. Suddenly I’m sitting on my ass, reading, and eating potato chips. From the bag—no portioned controlled bowl for me!
I try, I really do. I try to use “could,” as in “I could write for an hour.” But “could” is just a “should” in skinny jeans and a Duran Duran tee shirt.
Now “need,” if backed by my boss, the stench from my body, or a pink bill, will get me moving again. But I can tell a fake “need” from an actual “You will be in trouble if you don’t do this need.”
This sounds amazingly childish, and honestly it really is childish, but this is who I am. Apparently I get things done when someone in a position of authority expects something from me. Getting stuff done on my own, for myself, not so good.
Pathetic right? And not such a good fit for a self-publishing author.
I’ve tried different things, but really it comes down to tempting myself into doing something as one would a small child. “Just do ten minutes. You can even set the timer. Just write for ten minutes and then you can have a piece of candy.”
This will usually result in my remembering that I love writing and I write for a while once I get warmed up.
This also works with chores, and even food. Hey, just add a cup of fruit to your lunch, the rest can be Cheetos.
What is crazy and the most depressing, if I think about it, is that I like having a clean house. I like eating healthy foods. Most of the things I resist doing ,I enjoy, or at least enjoy the outcome.
I feel ridiculous, like Sheldon so wrapped up in only doing what the dice allow him to do, he can’t even go to the bathroom! Hey wait, maybe that would work! Maybe when I get like this I could just roll the dice: evens I do something productive for a while, odds I sit and read. That way I’d have a 50% chance of getting something done during the day!
I could roll as I complete a task, or end a chapter. OMG! The Big Bang Theory is brilliant. This changes everything, I’ll just become like Sheldon!
What do you think, do I have a good plan? And, by the way, I hate to be rude but you’re in my spot.
I think Sheldon’s life is quite restricted 🙂
And if you use the dice with ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘maybe’ written on, in my experience it almost always lands on ‘maybe’ – really not helpful 😀
Good point- I shall only use yes and no clarity is important. 🙂 And I agree Sheldon’s life is restricted,but he doesn’t wallow in angst!
I haven’t tried to reward myself. Maybe that would help. But not food. I don’t need the excuse.
It does sound as if you know your limits and which buttons to press to get results. At least you press the buttons instead of sitting around blaming others for stuff not getting done. I know people like that.
True I am not blaming others, although I do blame myself rather harshly.
I like the idea of rewarding yourself. Going to the movies, a massage, or whatever- just don;t think that they have to be cheap or free- you are important treat yourself well!
So this: But “could” is just a “should” in skinny jeans and a Duran Duran tee shirt. cracked me up like crazy. So true.
I am very happy to know that I am not the only one who has a few problems with self-control and all that. Once I’ve formed a habit, it’s all good, but before the habit is formed… yeah, it’s all about self-sabotage, etc. But I think we can do it! Baby steps and all, so if little enticements with the timer and whatnot work, go for it. 😀
Glad I made you laugh 🙂
Baby steps are very important for me. I try and break a big goal into small pieces, and a daily to-do list in which I won’t write do laundry but- sort and spray clothes, wash clothes, dry clothes, put away clothes so I have at least 4 things to check off at the end of the day, is really helpful.
Starting a new habit is so hard- I try and involve others, a gym buddy, posting on FB and Twitter what I am doing, talking to friends, anything to keep me motivated and my ego worried about failing LOL.
I am beginning to think that I should watch The Big Bang Theory… But I don’t have cable. This also keeps me from vegging out in front of the TV. My problem tends to lie in the fact that I have to choose between much needed housework and the manuscripts on the computer that will actually mean money once I get them finished…
Big Bang Theory is so much fun and I’m sure Netflix has it. There is always a choice in life between getting stuff done and vegging out, but every once ina while we need to veg- also sometimes while vegging we get some great inspiration so really it’s research 🙂 Thanks Charis
What’s your reward for doing the “should?” And “a job well done” is overrated. I motivate myself the old-fashioned way. I bribe myself. Figure out what you’d rather have or be doing and tie getting your objective to doing the work.
It’s hard not skipping to the reward, so at first you might do something weekly that you can’t cheat and do all the time.
I like the idea of a weekly reward- I’ll have to play with that thanks Bill 🙂 It sounds a better then leaving my fate to chance.