I have the perfect husband. At least perfect he’s for me. As a teenager I created an image of my ideal man. Between romance novels (I was reading Danielle Steele and Jude Deveraux in middle school) and my parents’ feminist teaching, I had quite the list. I wanted a man who was in touch with his feelings, yet would kill to protect me. He had to be able to clean and cook, and also provide me with food and shelter in a survival situation. I wanted a spiritual artist, a badass ex-military ninja, and a loving kind husband and father, and I got that.

He is perfect, and I like to imagine that I am perfect for him too, but really I doubt he dreamed of having an overweight high maintenance redhead for a wife.

However I do believe the universe groomed us to be together.


In 1989 there was program on HBO called ‘Time Flies When You’re Alive’ It was a one man tribute to his wife. This show changed my life. I was up alone at night, a common thing when I was 15, and this came on. I recognized the actor. He used to be on CHiPS and was sucked into the story of his wife. I was crying at the end, knew I would have my babies at home, and was even more drawn to alternative living.

Hundreds of miles away, and I like to imagine at the exact same time, my future second husband who was 31 also watched the show.

I like to think this wasn’t a coincidence but the universe sending us down a similar path even though we wouldn’t meet for four more years.

Do you have a similar story? You were groomed by the universe for your partner?