10 Comments

  1. Shannon Esposito
    June 4, 2012 @ 2:07 pm

    I just love yoga, the mat is the one place it doesn’t feel selfish to make it all about me! Of course, you’re right…there should be other areas of our love we are willing to fully engage in. Our passion (aka writing) and other types of me-time. Hmmm…you’ve given me something to think about, thanks. 🙂

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      June 5, 2012 @ 4:15 am

      Thanks Shannon I don;t always manage to get into that space, but it becomes easier every time I do!

      Reply

  2. August McLaughlin
    June 4, 2012 @ 4:37 pm

    I think we all have to be self-centered to an extent. Even volunteer work is selfish in a way, as many of us do it to feel great. 😉 So glad you take some you-time through yoga. Such a beneficial exercise and meditation form. You’re inspiring me to give it a whirl soon!

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      June 5, 2012 @ 4:17 am

      Your right we always live up to our vision of ourselves and even if we are helping others the choice to do so is rooted inside of us. I really like yoga, see what kids are offered near you, different types give people different things and I’m sure you’ll find something that will work for you.

      Reply

  3. Bill Jones, Jr.
    June 4, 2012 @ 9:17 pm

    The thing about being self-centered is to avoid its being negative, one has to first be centered, and then know when and how to focus on self. It sounds like you are doing it just right.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      June 5, 2012 @ 4:20 am

      Very good point Bill, the centered part is very important. If you make everything just about you without being centered you just become a jerk.

      Reply

  4. kassandralamb
    June 5, 2012 @ 2:45 am

    I am reminded of a workshop I went to, oh, let’s see, 25 years ago. The presenter said that women in our society have been taught to be selfless, to give of themselves to their familes, friends, communities, but not to give TO themselves. She went on to say that ‘selfless’ is a horrible word. It means ‘without a self.’ A car, she said, can’t give others rides with an empty gas tank, so why do we expect to be able to keep on giving when we are running on empty. When we fill ourselves up, then we have more to give to others. She then had us visualize several tanks–one for love, one for time, one for money, etc.–all the resources we needed and also gave to others. Then we were to draw a ‘minimum’ line on each tank. Whenever that resource starts to get too close to that line, we should stop and refill ourselves, or at least stop giving that resource away for awhile, until it is replenished.

    Obviously this had tremendous impact on me since I remember it, practically verbatim, 25 years later. It has helped me to be ‘self-centered’ without being ‘selfish’ (hopefully) or ‘selfless’ ever since.

    Thank you for this post, Alica. Reading it was a great way to end my evening!

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      June 5, 2012 @ 4:23 am

      That sounds like a great workshop, and it’s so true if you let yourself become depleted you can’t give anything to any one else. Thanks Kassandra

      Reply

    • gingercalem
      June 5, 2012 @ 11:43 am

      I’m replying under Kassandra’s comment because it’s so great! I love the analogy with the tanks. I use a car as an nutritional analogy often, in that you wouldn’t put watered down, junky-gas in your wonderful car, just like you shouldn’t put empty-calories, processed-crap food in your body that you expect to do all the of things you demand of it. Also, never thought of ‘selfless’ as ‘without a self’. Wow–very powerful. Like Alica, said, sounds like a great workshop.

      Alica, I love yoga and don’t give myself the give of it very often. You’ve inspired me to put it back into my routine. 🙂

      Reply

      • alicamckennajohnson
        June 6, 2012 @ 2:43 am

        Thanks Ginger, I’m glad to be an inspiration! I know I get a lot of inspiration from your blog 🙂

        Reply

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