To say my life is frustrating does not convey the daily restraint required to not commit acts which would require some friends, shovels, and a six foot hole.
I can feel a breakdown coming soon. It might involve Mojitos and there will be crying. But then I hope to achieve a moment of anti-Zen.
“But what is anti-Zen?” you ask. Let me ‘splain.
Zen is about detachment, things are what they are, and about being in the moment. You seek, and so I’ve heard, gain these qualities in quiet contemplation and meditation. What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Anti- Zen is when I have a hissy fit. I scream, cry, rant at the world, and the unfairness of everything. And near the end of this epic emotional purging I give up (not letting go as in Zen) but give the bleep up. I can’t change this. I can’t fix this. I simply can’t. In that moment I give up my desires for things to be different because what is, is, even when it sucks bleep. I give my hopes of it changing or controlling it.
Then I collapse on the floor in in heap, making those pitiful gasping hiccups people do when they’ve been crying. And I feel better. I’ve let it go, and I can go on with my life and my routine. I know it sounds really bad, but I have no time or space for quiet meditation and I couldn’t get my mind to shut-up even if I wanted too. You creative types out there know what I’m talking about.
Have you even had a moment of anti-Zen? Have you ever reach a space of enlightenment through the sewer instead of the temple?
Some of the best advice I’ve ever received was to understand if my actions could control the outcome of the event is some way. If they could not, then step back, and add that to the list of things I didn’t worry about. It was really sound advice.
My response was to tell her to bleep off.
Knowing what you can and can’t control is huge! I need to remember to go through things one at a time and figure out if it’s something I can control- usually it’s not LOL! Thanks for the reminder Bill!
I’m very familiar with anti-Zen. You’re definitely not alone! 🙂
BTW, if anti-Zen fails, I have a shovel, and will travel. 😀
Awesome- thanks Myndi I’ll try and wait until after the baby is born 🙂
I like this anti-Zen term, and I too am very familiar with it! My version also includes the slamming of doors. 🙂
Door slamming is very theraputic. 🙂
I don’t know if I have actually experienced a Zen moment, so I think my life is one repetitious moment of anti Zen. lol
I feel your pain Alica. May the force be with you my friend! 🙂
Thank you Karen and I agree I feel often times my life is Zen by fire- learn to be Zen or go crazy!
Dude. I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about (although my hissy fit usually comes before the mojitos and jammies). They’re much more rare than they used to be, but I still have an epic tantrum every couple of months, and they’re super cathartic. I think it’s good to get all the rage out in one solid go – much more healthy than trying to keep it under control and “acceptable” for days or weeks.
I agree letting it out is wonderful- somedays I’m able to do this through hard core work outs, but most of the time it’s temper tantrums and chocolate!
My anti-Zen moments require a two second delay for bleeping. 🙂
I bleep button would help a lot! Esp around the kids- they don’t need to know all those words.
Sometimes, LIKE TODAY, when I’m so stressed out I could flipping scream, I’ll be in the car and turn up the stereo to BLASTING and drive around listening to my favorite music. It helps. Might not be able to hear when I reach 90, but whatever…
Patti- this is one of the few reasons I miss having a car. I loved driving around with the music blasting and maybe pretending I was just going to keep on driving. 🙂 I’ll have a car again someday.
I love the concept of anti-Zen! We all need those moments. I do suggest no operating heavy machinery, interacting with in-laws, or ranting on Twitter about any specific person during this hissy fit moment. (Some things you can’t easily take back.) I loved that movie Broadcast News where Holly Hunter induces a good cry just to get it out of her system and relieve the stress.
That’s a great scene! I’d forgotten about that. Very good points- when having a moment of anti-Zen shut down your email, all social media, turn off your phone, and hide in your room. Thanks Julie!
I’m with you on the anti-Zen mojito-drinking sewer slog. Sometimes down and dirty is better than light and airy, and that’s not slamming light and airy. Over the years I’ve had several Buddhist monks in my classroom, one of them I got to be chatty with and he commented that while I was not light and airy, I often had insight.
I’m still puzzling that one out but I figure it must be good. If not, then being insulted by a Buddhist monk puts me in rare company.
Remember: friends help you move but “good” friends help you move bodies.
I haven’t been isulted by a Buddhist monk. I think I feel left out. LOL I don’t see myself as light and airy, I’m very grounded, but I have my moments of awareness and insight. At least I think I do.
And yes a good friend will totally help you move a body.