52 Comments

  1. Patricia Yager Delagrange
    September 7, 2011 @ 3:16 pm

    Alica, that was hysterical! At first I thought it was the real song and then it struck me that it was a farce. Wow! Great laugh!
    Patti

    Reply

  2. heather hawkes
    September 7, 2011 @ 4:38 pm

    OMG. i want so more of the story. 🙂

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 7, 2011 @ 8:24 pm

      Heather you are so sweet! It’s an interesting story bopping around in my head.

      Reply

  3. David Powers King
    September 7, 2011 @ 5:09 pm

    That video is hilarious.

    And your story is gripping. How creepy is that? Take my karma? Yikes! Now I want to know how that works and where the story is headed. Great job, Alica! 🙂

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 7, 2011 @ 8:12 pm

      Thank you so much! I was really nervous posting it. I love literal videos- they crack me up.

      Reply

  4. Bill Jones, Jr.
    September 7, 2011 @ 8:41 pm

    This is very nice. I’d be interested in reading this as an extended story.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 7, 2011 @ 11:46 pm

      Thank you! I’ll have to add it to my list of stories to be written. LOL

      Reply

  5. Jolyse Barnett
    September 7, 2011 @ 10:40 pm

    Hi Alica!

    I have to be honest, only read your flash fiction up to the word “vermin.” (I promise to check it out later.) I’m eating dinner while I catch up on my blog reading. I watched the literal video, however, and it was HYSTERICAL! Thanks so much for making my Wednesday more wacky and wonderful. 😛

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 7, 2011 @ 11:45 pm

      Thanks- I understand I can only read or watch certain things when I’m eating. I’m so glad you enjoyed the video- I cried I laughed so hard the first time I watched it.

      Reply

  6. Nellie
    September 8, 2011 @ 1:13 am

    Now this is something interesting that makes you want to know what more happens.

    Reply

  7. totsymae1011
    September 8, 2011 @ 2:35 am

    Quite interesting because a lot of think we could actually trade lives with other people. It would be interesting to see what kinda karma evolves as a result here.

    Reply

  8. elainecharton
    September 8, 2011 @ 7:13 am

    OMG woman you never cease to amaze me.

    Reply

  9. Samantha Stacia
    September 8, 2011 @ 7:49 am

    Its an interesting story, thanks for posting it on FB and it IS good, I am too embarrassed to mention I wrote a story for the Campaign on Fb, just too scared,
    I also like the name of your blog . 🙂

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 9, 2011 @ 1:39 am

      Thanks I’m glad you liked it. You should post it! What number are you? I got through the first 200- but it’s all blending together at this point.

      Reply

  10. katyupperman
    September 8, 2011 @ 2:15 pm

    Wow, your flash piece was amazing… totally different from anything I’ve read so far. Love all the details! Fantastic job. 🙂

    Reply

  11. Tara
    September 8, 2011 @ 2:16 pm

    What a great little story! I’m thinking Scott got the raw end of that deal!

    Reply

  12. Damyanti
    September 8, 2011 @ 3:06 pm

    An unusual story. …great entry for the challenge.

    Would like to invite you to The Rule of Three Blogfest —a month-long extravaganza in the fictional town of Renaissance this October, with some great prizes, comment love, and of course, a lot of exposure for your writing.

    Zopher and Scott could come to the town of Renaissance, and fit right in! 🙂

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 9, 2011 @ 1:46 am

      Thank you- I’ll pop over and check it out right now- thanks for the invite.

      Reply

  13. Patricia Tilton
    September 8, 2011 @ 5:16 pm

    Alica,
    Powerful story. To take on someone else’s karma, WOW! This is amazing!

    Patricia T.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 9, 2011 @ 2:08 am

      Thank you so much! Taking on some one’s karma would be a huge thing he must be desperate!

      Reply

  14. bridgetstraub
    September 8, 2011 @ 6:00 pm

    I want the backstory. Nicely done. Mine is #72

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 9, 2011 @ 2:06 am

      Thank you- I made it through the first 200 today so I know I read yours. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply

  15. Natasha Hanova
    September 8, 2011 @ 7:57 pm

    Dark and intriguing! Like how you incorporated the senses.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 9, 2011 @ 2:04 am

      Thank you so much! My critique group calls me a description whore- I”m glad I didn’t over do it.

      Reply

  16. Elana Johnson
    September 8, 2011 @ 9:42 pm

    Dude, I really like the name Zopher. Great job!

    Reply

  17. Sonia Lal
    September 8, 2011 @ 10:15 pm

    That’s a very interesting story! It’s good like this, but I think it bears expansion, even into novel length.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 9, 2011 @ 1:51 am

      Thank you! I have a few requests I’ll have to figure out what happens next.

      Reply

  18. Jocelyn Rish
    September 9, 2011 @ 12:34 am

    Lots of vivid imagery, and definitely another one of these mini-stories I can see being extended into a longer version.

    And the literal videos always make me giggle!

    Reply

  19. Kerry Freeman
    September 9, 2011 @ 12:54 am

    How creepy! Very good imagery. This would make a great beginning for a longer story.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 9, 2011 @ 1:48 am

      Thank you so much- I’ll have to mull it over who knows what happens next.

      Reply

  20. Adam Collings
    September 9, 2011 @ 3:34 am

    Fascinating story. It makes me wonder what type of being Zopher. Scott is certainly in a dark place. Zopher may be in for more than he bargained for.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 9, 2011 @ 3:49 am

      Zopher certainly has his work cut out for him. Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply

  21. rddenton
    September 9, 2011 @ 12:48 pm

    First of all, I love the name Zopher — a perfect fit for a character as strange and as curious as he is! There’s a grittiness to this story that I approve of. I love reading dirty, earthy fiction!

    Good work, Alica! Don’t be nervous about showing the world your writing — that’s the only way any of us will ever get better. 🙂

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 9, 2011 @ 4:49 pm

      Thank you so much- Zopher is actually an ancestors name- it has always stuck with me.

      Reply

  22. Kirsten Lopresti
    September 9, 2011 @ 1:15 pm

    Nicely done! It’s imaginative and original.

    Reply

  23. Angelina C. Hansen (@AngelinaCHansen)
    September 9, 2011 @ 11:51 pm

    Great voice and interesting premise. Well done.

    Reply

  24. http://firstdraftcafe.blogspot.com/
    September 10, 2011 @ 7:53 pm

    Hi, thought I’d nip by, we’re in Urban Fantasy group together.

    I like your flash fiction piece. Dark…very dark. 😉

    Reply

  25. Michael DI Gesu
    September 10, 2011 @ 9:43 pm

    HI, Alica,

    I really enjoyed your story…. Since I am a judge, I gently want to point out there were a few grammar errors. However, your story did make my top five list. Congratulations, and good luck with the rest of the challenge.

    Reply

    • alicamckennajohnson
      September 11, 2011 @ 1:17 am

      Thank you so much for looking past my grammar- it is my greatest weakness- would I be able to fix it beofre the final round of judging? I am thrilled to be chosen either way, and I’ll have someone look over my work before I post next time.

      Reply

  26. Mel
    September 10, 2011 @ 10:42 pm

    Hi Alicia!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love that we’re getting a scene from a “walk in” and the odd sort of flavor to it.

    Reply

  27. Cat
    September 11, 2011 @ 11:49 pm

    OMG I loved that story. It really held me and I want more. Kudos!!!!!

    Reply

  28. debutnovelist
    September 12, 2011 @ 8:01 am

    Well that was interesintg – I thught it was Scott who had to choose – then it was actually Zopher. Nice work!
    AliB

    Reply

  29. Crystal
    September 13, 2011 @ 2:17 pm

    I totally want to find out more! That was a very cool entry. Good job!!

    Reply

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